- Dad has become insistent on wearing his mouthguard at all times. This is a device he's only supposed to wear at night. But now we have to check his mouth before every meal, and whenever he wakes up from his nap. Otherwise we find he has eaten an entire meal with it in. For some reason he thinks wearing this mouthguard will help other functions, or prevent them from going arwy.
- Dad is very good at swallowing his meds. But if you don't keep any eye on him when you hand them over, on any random occasion, he will drop them all into his glass of water, then try to drink it down, and look surprised when they remain dissolving at the bottom of the glass. It drives Mom nuts.
-It has become so routinized in Dad's mind to "get dressed," after sleeping, that if he awakens from his nap and is alone, he will dress himself, even if he is already fully dressed. Once this week Mom sent me upstairs to tell him it was time for dinner. I found him wearing 3 shirts and a jacket. And his mouthguard. Last week Mom found him wearing 2 pairs of pants and a jacket over his pajama top and another shirt.
- Dad is very attached to his green gloves. The only time he will take them off is to eat. A couple of days ago he lost track of them after breakfast and kept looking for them. The kids and I had just come back into the house from an errand, and I heard Elfgirl's voice exclaiming, "Hey, that's mine!" I found Dad had put one of her socks over his hand, saying, "my green gloves, where are my green gloves?"
It was after this last incident that I realized how far gone Dad is. I mean, if you can't tell the difference between your glove and a kid sock, there's not much more to say. Mom mentioned last night that Dad has also started to get suspicious, though she didn't say of what or whom. She wasn't sure if it was due to the anti-depressant he just started taking, or if it's another symptom of Alzheimer's. I do recall seeing somewhere that paranoia can be a symptom of a later stage. Dad has a followup with the neurologist this week so I told her to let them know of all the mood changes we've noticed. I might actually go along with, just so I can get any response firsthand.
Then there are the kids. They are young, close in age, and bicker on and off. In the last month I've noticed an uptick in their bickering, and general "attitude." Elfgirl in particular, who has always been a challenging child, has become even more so. Last week I had the opportunity to talk with the school guidance counselor, and I decided to let her know about our family situation. She agreed that even in the best of worlds blending two families is a challenge, having a family member with Alzheimer's is extremely challenging, and the combination of the two can put a strain on everyone. One of the things that both Mike and I noticed is that there are occasions when Dad's behavior is startling to the kids, even though we always explain in the moment his conditions and why he is confused. But Elfgirl in particular will recoil. She has always been put off or anxious about a person's behavior if she perceives it to be abnormal for that person. That leads her to put some distance between her and them. When we were posing for our family holiday photo she ended up next to him and both Mike and I saw that she was not happy about that. It is sad, but completely understandable. I really don't know how we are going to address things as Dad continues to deteriorate, but I can only take each day as it comes. I don't want the kids to freak out, but I want them to understand this is life and end of life. Mike is worried that Dad's behavior is getting undignified, and asks rhetorically, "Is this how *I* want to be remembered by my kids, or my grandkids?" I don't have an answer for that.
On the flip side, Dad has maintained quite a few of his other abilities. They are:
- A very healthy appetite. Dad still loves to eat, yet knows when he is full and doesn't want any more.
- In the mornings when he is fresh, he's pretty cheerful and can get dressed by himself with no issues.
- Since starting the anti-depressant, he's been sleeping very well, getting up only a couple of times a night to go to the bathroom on his own. Previously he was getting up every hour, then turning on the TV, then trying to chat with Mom. They were both getting sleep deprived and showing it.
- Dad LOVES music. He loves watching all of Andre Rieu's videos and conducting along. He loves watching Sound of Music and Mary Poppins. He even likes watching early morning cooking shows and finds them very funny. Political ads (there are TONS of them right now) make him agitated and he thinks something dangerous is going on. IMHO that is a VERY appropriate response.
- He reads the weekly edition of a Taiwanese paper that comes in the mail.
- He recognizes my siblings when they call.
These are all qualify of life abilities, and since they are intact, it motivates us to keep him at home with us as long as possible.
Well, we all made it to 2016 in relatively great condition. Mom and Dad are still pretty healthy, and today we celebrated Mom's birthday. Originally we were going to celebrate after dinner. When we changed it to after lunch, Elfgirl immediately asked, "Why??" When we explained that evening wasn't a good time for A-kong because he'd just want to hurry off to bed she said, "Oh, then he'll be left out, and he can't be left out because we love him!"
These are the memories we hold on to as we face the inevitable future.
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