On Sleep deprivation, and other things

Last night, or rather early this morning, I was awakened by voices. I know that Dad gets up 2-3 times a night to go to the bathroom, and lately he's been more confused so it takes some doing. But the voices got louder and more agitated so I got up to seeing what was going on. Apparently Dad had a huge accident in bed, and it was the 2nd one that night. So while Mom was getting him cleaned up and changed, I stripped the bed, and remade it. By the time I crawled back into bed it was already 5am, and I pretty much lay there awake with my eyes closed until Mike's alarm went off.

Later when Mom and Dad got up from the day, she told me he had another accident, just as big as the last. What happens is she realizes he is wet and says, "Why aren't you up??" and he says, "Well, I'm already done peeing." We agreed that getting angry is pointless because he just does not get it, but staying calm when it is in the middle of the night and you've been up already is very, very hard to do. Dad, for a variety of reasons, hardly pees during the day, and especially not if he is out and about. Psychologically, therefore physiologically, he is unable to relax enough to do it. Instead he has taken to peeing all night, and the water he drinks in order to swallow his meds before bed doesn't help. Mom is wondering whether she should just wake him up every 3 hours instead of waiting for him to awaken on his own. For me, I'm wondering why in the heck someone hasn't invented a nighttime diaper for grownups that will hold more. And we're looking at putting Dad in his own twin bed, because a small bed is easier to change multiple times.

Yesterday they had a followup appointment with the NP at the neurologist, just to see how Dad is doing on his sleep meds. Mom told me the NP made an appointment for her with the social worker next week, and I need to go as well. The social worker will help us start making arrangements for a full time care facility, so that if and when he really needs to go, everything will be in place, instead of starting that process when we're already up to our necks.

I remembered back when Sparky was nursing. She was my worst sleeper, and one point, was waking up 5 times a night (starting at 11pm) to nurse. It was truly the worst year ever, her first year. The only thing that kept me sane was knowing it would eventually pass, which it did. In this case it is clear that things will not get better. This morning, after only one major wakeup I was not running on all cylinders, and my patience was at a low level. Of course, this morning, one of the kids spilled sugar on the floor and over their chairs, but no one would own up to it. No one yelled, but I had one of those, "Why do these things happen when I haven't slept??" thoughts. Mom has had those nights 4 nights out of 7 for a while now, and I really don't know how long she can go. When she doesn't get enough sleep she is more prone to illness and we are in the middle of winter, when people stay indoors and leaving the house means you're exposed to more people at closer quarters.

Coffee. And wine.