In the days since my last post, there have been a parade of people in and out of house, all in the quest of making our care of Dad more manageable. There was the delivery of a hospital bed and bedside commode. This enables us to toilet Dad in the (relative) privacy of his room with a lot more room for his helpers to maneuver. Every weekday morning and evening, home health aides come to help Dad either get up and ready for the day, or cleaned up and settled down for the night. Our goal is for Mom to do absolutely no lifting while they are here. For now Medicare covers the cost of condom catheters and bags for night use, because there isn't a brief on the market that will hold all the pee he releases at night. This makes morning clean up infinitely easier. Of all the life skills I thought important to learn, putting a condom catheter on my own father was not one that came to mind. But after the first couple of times I'm able to suspend my disbelief and do the task at hand. It has become as routine as cleaning him after a bowel movement or getting him in an out of his wheelchair when we have a doctor's appointment.
Even so, there are about 9 hours in the day when it's just Mom and me, and Dad needs care during those hours. Monday morning we hit the new high in resistance from Dad. For someone who is unable to stand up independently even to get from a chair to a chair, he has tremendous muscular capacity when it comes to resisting standing up, sitting up straight, getting dressed, and just about every daily task except eating. Monday afternoon a PT came to assess Dad's mobility. After a slow but hairy fall in which Dad took both Mom and the PT with him, she came to two conclusions. 1) She would continue to work with Dad in seeing how much mobility he could regain, if that is what we wanted, but 2) she was going to put in an order for a Hoyer lift, because it was clear that Dad was getting more resistant, and caring for him was more challenging and dangerous with each passing day. For those like me who didn't know, a Hoyer lift is used in hospitals and nursing homes to lift and transfer patients safely from bed to commode to chair, or just about anywhere you want without effort from the patient and strain on the part of the caregiver. Essentially, it is a body sling shaped like a seat, attached to a hydraulic crane/lift that you work with a crank. Our model is on wheels, so we can move him around the room, or from room to room.The crane arrived yesterday and the PT came to show us how to use it. Mom and I practiced lifting each other and transferring from bed to chair. Though it felt a little trippy at first to float up and hang suspended in the air, the sling was actually very comfortable, and I prayed that Dad wouldn't freak out and start thrashing, since that would expose the caregiver to the risk of a black eye or bruising from flying feet and hands. To our surprised relief, Dad didn't really seem to notice when he went airborne. Of course the motion is pretty slow and gradual. Since then we have practiced with the home health aides, two of whom actually have a lot of experience using this device. We are so thankful for them, because it took a couple of bombs before these two gems came on the scene. The difference between a good aide and a bad one is the difference between having someone lighten your load considerably and having to manage two crises instead of just one. Having the Hoyer lift will give Mom and me a way to care for dad during the day without worrying that Mom is going to injure herself. Her leg muscle has been pulling lately, probably from all the lifting and sudden saves. Regular stretching and exercising each night keeps her going, but I think it would only be a matter of time before something went wrong.
With these measures in place, we hope to make Dad's care sustainable until a nursing home has an opening. Theoretically we could go on like this for quite a while, but.......everyone is tired. Mom is tired. Last night she told me herself, "This is just so tiring." Even the amazing lift has its limits. Though it can lift Dad effortlessly, it can't get him to the car because we can't wheel it down steps into the garage. I suddenly asked everyone yesterday what happens when Dad can't stand and get down the steps to get into the car, even to go to a doctor's appointment? Her answer was a portable ramp, which covers up to two steps. It seems as though there is a solution to almost anything. But our days revolve around dad's care, and the psychological strain can be tremendous, depending on how many appointments Dad has, how much of a fight he puts up during personal care, how much he yells when the kids are around, and how any of the kids, but especially Sparky, react when they don't get the attention they are asking for at a given moment.
And so, we have settled down in our own plateau. As I write this, Mom and I just used the lift to move Dad from a wheelchair to a squashy armchair with an ottoman. He seemed fully awake and watched us silently as we figured out how to move the lift around and get him into the chair without dumping him on to the ground instead. This from him is a change. Usually he keeps yelling for no apparently reason, but this time he was very quiet. Mom thinks he knows what we're doing with this lift and since it's comfy, might was well enjoy it. Maybe.
(To be continued......)
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