A very boring update :)

Well, it's been over a month since my last post. For all the friends and readers who've been checking in to make sure Dad is okay, thank you so much. The main reason I haven't written is because Dad has been pretty stable since the last post. As of this writing he remains so. Hospice has been amazing for him. He continues to have "good days," when he is pretty alert and engages with visitors, talks to Mom, and is very cooperative with his LNAs. Occasionally he has a "bad day," which I define as him appearing to shut down. He keeps his eyes closed, eats very little, and doesn't respond much even to Mom. Sometimes he has two consecutive bad days, followed by a string of good days.

Bad days used to stress Mom out greatly. She would come home convinced that Dad was declining rapidly. She would attribute his day to lack of consistent care, or just gradual decline. This would lead to sleepless or restless nights, as she tried to puzzle out what the cause behind his non-responsiveness. We suggested counseling, but she wasn't really into the concept. I found her a 5 minute bedtime yoga video, and she liked it a lot, found it helpful. But she wouldn't do it consistently.

The key to Dad's mood was discovered by accident a couple of weeks ago. All of his regular LNAs went on vacation, and even his hospice LNA took a week off to move. This meant that Dad was cared for by LNAs from another floor who were not familiar to him or with his quirks. In the same week a new LNA was introduced on his floor, and she was green as can be. She didn't know the proper way to approach someone with dementia, and she was also very petite and certainly not strong enough to manage him alone. Nothing makes Dad close in and shut down faster than a caregiver who is unfamiliar and doesn't seem to know what they are doing. A week went by, during which Dad kept his eyes firmly shut, shook his head when Mom tried to ask him what was wrong, and barely ate. Mom barely slept, and I started to wonder if we were in yet another stage. During the following weekend, his regular LNA came back, and wow, what a difference! His eyes flew open, and he smiled and nodded when she started on his routine.

It's been a week since this all went down, and as far as I can tell, Dad is back to his regular self. He has his alert days, and his sleepy days, his hungry days and his not so hungry days. Mom has taken to napping in the afternoons, which I think is a wise move. My only regret is that I haven't been able to visit much this summer because of the kids. I can take them with me, but then the visit lasts a very short while before they get restless. Fortunately, school is starting in a couple of weeks, and I will be free during days again.