Maybe the End isn't That Far?

My dear friends, I am writing on behalf of our family to ask for prayers for Dad. He was diagnosed with double pneumonia Monday morning. He had not been eating much, had the occasional low-grade fever, and occasionally was coughing phlegm. The doctor at R Center ordered an X-ray Monday and was able to make an immediate diagnosis. He prescribed an antibiotic for the infection, and Tylenol for the fever. In the meantime Dad was sort of eating, but refused to drink anything except pre-thickened juice from a small spoon. 

Today he did not eat or drink anything. He refused to open his mouth for anything, including his meds, so by this afternoon the doctor gave his antibiotics by injection. He told Mom that Dad seemed to be laboring to breathe, so he recommended giving very low doses of morphine by mouth. Mom was very reluctant to do this because when her mother was at the end of her battle with cancer, she was given morphine, and succumbed within a day. The doctor said that my grandma must have been given a very high dose, and assured Mom that this was a very low dose he was recommending. After some deliberation Mom asked me to call a friend, who is a pharmacist. The friend was able to assure us that all the morphine would do is alleviate any pain or discomfort Dad might be experiencing. "But will it make him pass?" "Oh he's going to pass, sooner or later, but the morphine will make his life much easier." "So if he succumbs, the morphine will not be the cause?" "NO, not at all." 

I was happy to convey this information to Mom, because my concern is that IF she agrees to morphine and Dad passes, she will be agonizing over whether she hastened his demise. For this evening she decided to do nothing, as Dad seemed to be sleeping very peacefully, and the LNA was shortly going to be putting him to bed. First thing tomorrow an NP is going to be evaluating him, in order to see if he qualifies for hospice. Mom will meet with a nurse from the hospice agency. 

It seems to me, based on observation of other people's experiences, that these things tend to run according to pattern. Dad may recover from pneumonia, but if he doesn't eat for long enough (maybe due to discomfort?) he will probably forget how to swallow. He is already having trouble swallowing. In his condition, not taking in any food or fluid over a long enough period can signal the end is near. What we all want for him is the end, whenever it comes, to be smooth, without struggle.